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Wolf, Arnold
(-)
Ruby
(-)
Sczenski, John T
(1929-1954)
Wolf, Lois
(1931-1984)
Wolf, Joan Audrey
(1949-2007)

 

Family Links
Parents:
1. Meyers, Leneil Stuart & Wolf, Lois
2. Sczenski, John T & Wolf, Lois

Spouses/Children:
Hukari, Harvey Harlow Jr

Wolf, Joan Audrey

  • Born: Mar 26, 1949, Oshkosh, Winnebago, Wisconsin, USA
  • Died: Jan 13, 2007, San Francisco, San Francisco, California, USA at age 57

bullet   Another name for Joan was Joanie.

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bullet  Death Notes:

HUKARI, Joan Audrey
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Joan Audrey Hukari Born in Oshkosh, WI on March 26, 1949. Married at Stanford University Chapel, April 17, 1971, died in San Francisco, January 13, 2007. Attended the University of Wisconsin -Milwaukee, Worcester College, Oxford and University of California Extension, San Francisco. Awarded a BA degree (cum laude) in Human Resources from Golden Gate University. Served as a human resources professional for a number of non-profit organizations including the California Culinary Academy, Far West Educational Laboratory, Goldman Insititute On Aging and the Oceanic Society. In 1976, she won a write-in campaign to become the Republican nominee against incumbent Assemblyman Willie Brown and later served as a member of the San Francisco Republican County Central Committee. Survived by her sisters Fern Hansen of Greenwood, WI, Cindy Esselman of Loyal, WI and Julie Schmidt of Neilsville, WI and by her husband of 35 years, Harvey Harlowe Hukari of the City. A Memorial Service will be held at 3:00 P.M, Sunday, January 28 at Swedenborgian Church, 2107 Lyon St. (at Washington), San Francisco 94115.
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/01/21/MNHUKARIJO22.DTL
This article appeared on page Z - 99 of the San Francisco Chronicle.".

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bullet  Noted events in her life were:

• Adoption: Leneil Meyers, 1976, Greenwood, Clark, Wisconsin, USA.



• News: Announcement for Candidacy, Sep 2, 1976, San Francisco, San Francisco, California, USA. 1 Announcing candidacy for 17th District San Francisco Assembly seat.

Challenged incumbent Willie Brown.

• Obituary, Jan 13, 2007, San Francisco, San Francisco, California, USA. 1. SF Chronical, Obituary Joan Audrey Wolf Meyers.
"HUKARI, Joan Audrey
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Joan Audrey Hukari Born in Oshkosh, WI on March 26, 1949. Married at Stanford University Chapel, April 17, 1971, died in San Francisco, January 13, 2007. Attended the University of Wisconsin -Milwaukee, Worcester College, Oxford and University of California Extension, San Francisco. Awarded a BA degree (cum laude) in Human Resources from Golden Gate University. Served as a human resources professional for a number of non-profit organizations including the California Culinary Academy, Far West Educational Laboratory, Goldman Insititute On Aging and the Oceanic Society. In 1976, she won a write-in campaign to become the Republican nominee against incumbent Assemblyman Willie Brown and later served as a member of the San Francisco Republican County Central Committee. Survived by her sisters Fern Hansen of Greenwood, WI, Cindy Esselman of Loyal, WI and Julie Schmidt of Neilsville, WI and by her husband of 35 years, Harvey Harlowe Hukari of the City. A Memorial Service will be held at 3:00 P.M, Sunday, January 28 at Swedenborgian Church, 2107 Lyon St. (at Washington), San Francisco 94115.
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/01/21/MNHUKARIJO22.DTL
This article appeared on page Z - 99 of the San Francisco Chronicle.".

• Funeral: Eulogy for Joan, Jan 28, 2007, San Francisco, San Francisco, California, USA. February 20, 2007 Eulogy for Joan

Delivered on January 28, 2007

When you are a young married couple, you are full of plans and dreams. You think about the future in terms what you might do, where you will live, where you'll travel, the people that will become your friends and the goals you might achieve. You are full of hope about the future.

After 35 years of being married to Joan, I never imagined that I would stand here on this day, in this chapel, in front of friends and family and deliver her eulogy.

It was not part of the plan

**********

Joan and I first met in February of 1977. I was taking a break from Winter Quarter at Stanford to visit my cousin Gaile who was married to the only baker in the small town of Greenwood, Wisconsin.

One day I happened to pick up a copy of the town's weekly newspaper, the Greenwood Gleaner. There on the front page was a striking photo of a young woman with long dark hair. Reading the accompanying article, I discovered the reason for her photo was that Joan Meyers had won the Betty Crocker Homemaker of the Future Award for Greenwood High School. I shouted to my cousin, "I must have a date with this woman!"

It wasn't till later in our marriage that I discovered the award was given not on the basis of culinary skill but rather a written examination.

Going through Joan's possessions, I discovered another surprise. I was not the only man to see that article and contact her. I found this note from......Melvin Laird, Congressman from Wisconsin's 7th District. who later became Secretary of Defense, congratulating her on that same award

To answer a question, I never considered Congressman Laird as a serious rival for Joan's affections.

I can remember all the important elements of my first date with Joan:
the song that played on the car radio as my cousin drove me to Joan's home, the movie we saw, the color of the dress Joan wore, the pizza we shared afterwards and the first kiss in my cousin's living room couch.

I'm reminded of the great conductor Arturo Toscanini who said, "I kissed my first woman and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I have never had an interest in tobacco since."

When my cousin asked about the date, I confidently replied that it went well and that I would probably marry Joan.

I remember all those things.

What I do not remember, what I cannot tell you, is the day or the time or who else was in the hospital room when the Dr. told Joan - "You are never leaving this Intensive Care Unit."

I understand that many of you may not be familiar with the circumstances of Joan's death so let me tell you briefly what happened.

On December 20, Joan fell on the sidewalk in front of our home on Sacramento Street. She was taken by ambulance to San Francisco General where she remained for the next 25 days.

Tests revealed that while the injury to her head was minor, she suffered from serious liver disease and various other related illnesses.

Then the roller coaster ride began - ranging in diagnosis from - she'll need long term care to a discussion of whether or not to resuscitate Joan if her heart should fail. On the morning of January 2nd, she was moved to the Intensive Care Unit where she remained until she died on the evening of Saturday the 13th.

Her death was the result of a pattern of events over the past 4 and half years which contributed to the deterioration of both her mental and physical health. During that period, Joan suffered from depression and social dislocation.

Due to financial difficulties, she lost the job she loved as Director of Human Resources at the the Goldman Institute on Aging. In the next two years, both her cats, Harry and Moppy, died next to her.

Most significantly, the man who married her mother when Joan was four, the only father she had ever known, and the man who formally adopted her at the age of 17 to give her his family name and ease her passage through life, Mike Meyers, passed way in 2005 after a prolonged illness.

Sadly, while she was able to visit him at the Mayo Clinic the previous year, she didn't arrive in Wisconsin until the morning after he died.

In the intensive care unit, Joan was kept alive by a set of machines and was only able to breathe through a ventilator. She was not able to talk.

So what I did every morning and afternoon was bring sets of photographs of various trips we had taken around the world, pictures of dinners and events involving friends and relatives. When I asked if she was getting tired of looking at pictures, she shook her head and gave me one of those expressions that only married couples can translate which said, "Where else do I have to go?"

And as I look around this chapel, I'm struck by how many of you are in those photos.

Parties, family gatherings, dinners...events you may not even remember. Many of you are there in those pictures....and interestingly enough...most of you looked significantly younger.

I showed Joan those photos not only to maintain her cognitive skills but more importantly to remind her that she had a life before being connected to wires and tubes.

That she had traveled, met interesting people, had good friends and a loving family. To remind her that she had lived a rich and interesting life.

And that is the life that I would like share and have you remember.

We typically mark our passage in life by significant dates - our birth, our graduations the date of our marriage. I like to believe that for most of us, life is not painted on a grand canvas but as a series of vignettes - miniatures -of events specific to a time,place and emotion.

Joan was a shy and sensitive person.

In 1976, Willie Brown bragged that he was so intimidating a political figure that the Republican Party was afraid to run a candidate against him. In fact, no Republican filed. So Joan decided to run as a write-in in the June primary and through a great deal of effort was able to secure enough votes to become the official party nominee.

The headline on the San Francisco Examiner profile read: A Cure for Shyness: Tackling Willie Brown.

"Things happen to shy people,"she was quoted as saying. "They stumble and have to develop self-assurance. In my case, it was jumping into a pool of cold water and finding I could swim."

Much was made in the article of Joan's desire to run a "walking campaign." No mention was made that Joan never learned to drive an automobile.

Joan has three sisters, three nieces and three nephews in Wisconsin. While she loved them all, she had a special attachment to one that she directly helped to bring into her extended family.

In 1990, Joan's three sisters in Wisconsin met to deal with a family crisis. Cindy and her husband were attempting to adopt an orphan from the Philippines. Unstable political conditions and a looming deadline made it imperative that the child be brought to America immediately.

They decided that Joan was the solution. After all, she had traveled abroad, she had a passport. And living in San Francisco, she was closer to the Philippines than Greenwood was!

The problem was that Joan was afraid to fly without me and that her companion, her brother-in-law Dave from Loyal, Wisconsin, was 30 years old, not only had never been out of the country, he had never been on an airplane.

This unlikely duo embarked on an 8,000 mile odyssey through Tokyo airport and then on to Manila. After 48 hours in the Philippines they completed the adoption process, convinced the Japanese officials that they were not kidnappers and spirited the two year old child back to the United States.

Today Ryan Esselman is a freshman at Wisconsin State University - Eau Claire majoring in business.

At some point in our marriage, I'm not certain when, Joan developed an appreciation for baseball and looked forward to attending Giant games.

There was one incident which occurred at Candlestick Park which I later turned into an article for San Francisco magazine.

We had a box seats for a Cubs - Giants game. As we sat down, I noticed three beefy men in front of us, each wearing Cubs caps and each wearing windbreakers with the words Third Ward Social Club emblazoned on the back. Also in front was a brawny blonde truck driver with his family.

In the hundreds of games I have attended, I have never caught a foul ball. In the third inning , a Cub batter fouled off a Jim Barr pitch which headed our way.

With my Mickey Mantle glove in hand, I quickly leapt to aisle from my seat (Section 6, Box 3H) and positioned myself for the catch.

As it came spinning down towards me, my entire personal baseball history flashed before my eyes. The games I had played, the fly ball I caught off a tree in Glen Park, the line shot home run I hit over the left field fence at Eureka Valley playground.

I awoke from this reverie to realize that I had completely misjudged the ball and it was landing to my right.

Suddenly, Joan leapt to her feet and yelled, "I™ve got it. I've got it." When it bounced a furious scrum ensued between the Cub fans, the truck driver and Joan. Finally, she emerged clutching the ball. She held it triumphantly in her hand and flashing the luminous smile said, "Aren™t you proud of me?"

I stood there mute, helplessly thumping my glove as the members of the Third Ward Social club laughed and booed me.

I couldn't answer you but I'll will now. I was proud of you then, I am proud of you now and I'm proud that you chose to share over 35 years with me.

In these situations, people ask what they can do to help you deal with the loss, the grief, the despair, the desolation? We can help each other.

I believe that memories are our only defense against the tyranny of time.

That we help each other by simply remembering and sharing the bits and pieces, incidents and events, large and small, that make up the fabric our lives.

The moderately famous rock and roll singer Warren Zevon was diagnosed
with incurable cancer and given only a few months to live.

When asked in an interview, what advice about life would he give to others, he replied simply, "Enjoy every sandwich."

By that, I take to mean that we should appreciate the small, simple things that life brings.

It was comforting to go through Joan's correspondence and discover various notes from people I had never met thanking Joan for helping them in their jobs and careers, expressing gratitude for the small acts of kindness.

In reading those I realize that I had underestimated Joan's impact on lives other than my own.

It was also comforting to read the kind remarks that many of you have written.

One I found particularly poignant and on the mark said of Joan "The ability to see the humanity present in all things was a blessing you shared graciously with others."

**************

On that last night at SF General when the end was inevitable, the only sound in Joan's room was the whirring of the ventilator and the soft electronic chirp of a monitor recording her gradually declining heart beat.

I packed up my photos, took down the picture of her cat Sparkie that we had put next to her head.

It was the nurse who removed her wedding ring and put it in a plastic bag. He handed it to me, dimmed the lights and left.

After a few minutes of reflection, I got up from the bedside and leaned over to her ear.

These are the last words I whispered to Joanand I hoped she would have whispered to me -

Joan, you gave me a wonderful life.

I love you.

Goodbye, Joan. Harvey Harlowe Hukari (San Francisco)


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Joan married Harvey Harlow Hukari Jr.

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Sources


1 Mildred Hamilton, "A cure for shyness: Tackling Willie Brown," San Francisco Examiner, 9/2/1976; digital images. Rec. Date: Mar 27, 2010. Cit. Date: Mar 27, 2010. Surety: 4.



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